FUCK FLICKS

The Whackman loves entrepreneur tramps. Dane Productions Hooker Illustrated 6 takes The Whackman to the streets of N. Hollywood, Las Vegas, Oakland, and Los Angeles. Bring your jimmy hats cuz these bitches are from around the way?

Cover girl Illona (with her clown caked face) is hired by Dave Hardman to satisfy his needs in the opening scene. Illona gets her carpet munched immediately when she enters Dave?s hotel room. She then gets her twat used and abused (no warm-up blow job needed) while moaning some foreign gibberish. Illona takes Dave?s cock from underneath before inviting him into the number two hole. Dave puts it back in Illona?s pussy before making her milk his cock of his nutrients.

Man looking brunette Maria Silva collects two c-notes before letting Mark woods ravish her cunt. Maria first deep throats Marks crooked cock before spreading her pierced lips wide to invite Marks tongue. Mark pulls her to the edge of the bed and rams her twat while remaining standing. He then makes Maria sit on his cock with her reddened flat ass in plain view for the camera. Maria takes the liberty of putting it in her ass while going into reverse cowgirl, then puts her donut hole sky high for Mark to dart in. Mark sprays her in the mouth.

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The youthful big titted prostitute Kylie Brooks warms Jay Ashley in the car before they head to the woods where she continues to quench her thirst for his purple colored cock. Kylie squats on Jay?s cock like a good little girl before lying on her back to get the continued pussy thrusting. Jay can?t seem to find a comfy position on the bench but keeps attacking the beaver because of sheer horniness. Kylie puts her flat ass in line with Jay?s cock and takes it doggystyle before taking a shot in the eye.

Johnny Thrust plays a cop who patrols the scene for a while before running into the saggy tittied Misty, a sub par looking hooker. After a brief blow job, Misty gets her pussy licked before getting doggied. Johnny sits on the bench and makes Misty get on top of him. There was little/no chemistry in this boring ending scene.

Half of these bitches looked too dirty to go bareback, and The Whackman felt that Hooker Illustrated 6 forgot to remind people in the real world about AIDS while making this sorry ass movie you dumb fucks. Ain?t no man in their right mind going commando these broads. The Whackman understands why creatures of these low standards are hooking; and is it just The Whackman or did all the dudes have ?hooked? shaped dicks? 2 shots were let off in an absolute disappointment.

Posted by Cecil B. DeNasty on Sunday, September 02 06:08 AM | Permalink | Comments

Is it the strong slaps to a round female ass or the clothespins on her nipples? Will The Whackman endure watching these crazy bitches squirm and whimper as they?re brought closer and closer to the Pain Factor?

In scene 1, Soverigne Sonya drags a young slut named Randi Ryder to the ground and makes her immediately strip. Sonya demands Randi to suck her strap-on, before smacking the whore?s huge saggy tits with them. Randi bends over Sonya?s knees to get her flat ass slapped and spanked until reddened. Sonya makes Randi drink from a doggy bowl like an obedient bitch, before standing her up to strap her against a wall. After dripping some hot wax across Randi?s nipples, Inge grabs a thin red stick and beats Randi?s nipples until she cries. A nipple clamp is secured to the whimpery Randi and she is left with her panties in her mouth.

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In scene 2, Inge begins by dildoing herself until Mistress Tara enters to punish her. After spanking Inge in the ass, Mistress Tara whips out a stick and continues the beating until bruises start to show. A butt plug is lubed and shoved up Inge?s crapper. Inge has to use the bathroom and is requested to just piss in a fucking bucket standing up for The Whackman to see. The Mistress then pumps three bags of liquids into Inge?s ass. Strapped in a stray jacket, Inge is strung to a contraption by her legs and she is lifted into a tub, where all that?s left is for the liquids go down to her head.

In the final scene, cute redhead Ivy Manner is handcuffed to a wall as Mistress Tara slices her clothes off, leaving only her granny panties. Ivy is then brought to a chair where her make-up is removed?she is forced to drink a half gallon of milk. Ivy has to pee, and pees with her panties on. Mistress bends Ivy over her knees for being a bad little whore. Then hanging by her hands and her feet, Ivy is left by the Mistress.

Pain factor was more of a humiliation type of flick then a painful one. It was the ass that took the most punishment in each scene and The Whackman doesn?t count peeing as a torture method?unless these bitches have crabs or the clap or some other kind of STD. 1 relaxing shot was fired by The Whackman in this pro-rated review due to the short flick.

Posted by Cecil B. DeNasty on Friday, August 31 12:08 PM | Permalink | Comments

The Whackman believes in equal opportunity where no whore should go unfilled. Cutting Edge?s Fill er Up shares the same mission statement as The Whackman, but can they deliver? Let?s go?

A cute, innocent looking blonde named Kelly Wells is greeted by 3 gardeners who are looking for a quick blow job before getting to work. Like a good little whore, she gets down on her knees and distributes her mouth and hands evenly to the three cocks surrounding her. Kelly bends her tight petite ass over for one dude to enjoy while rotating her mouth between the other two dudes. Then she lies on her back to get her shaved pussy and ass ravaged in a decent opening scene.

Long legged brunette Brandi Lyons begins by sucking one dude. Then another dude enters the room looking for a personal assistant (that caters to his cock). Brandi obliges and wraps her mouth around his cock for a long bj. After about ten minutes, the other dude finally gets into the action. While keeping her mouth busy, Brandi bounces on the other cock. Then she gets doggied in the crapper by one dude while mouthing the other dude. Brandi gets both holes drilled around the 28 minute mark before drinking both loads.

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Average looking Gia Jordan and the short haired alien faced Veronica Jett get some girl on girl warm-up by the swimming pool, before ?winning? some dude. The two sluts simultaneously work on his cock before putting both of their asses in the air for the ?prize?. Gia takes the cock for a ride in her ass while Veronica watches. Veronica didn?t seem too involved in the scene as Gia even took the cum shot with appreciation. Veronica was wack.

The thick manly looking blonde Sara Jay stops bbqing to get some interracial loving. Three cocks join the scene to satisfy Sara?s cock fetish. Her mouth takes the brunt of the scene and although The Whackman appreciates a good licking, Sandra?s best assets weren?t used?a huge let down.

A petite Simone West lotions her body down for a good few minutes before finally touching herself. At around the seven minute mark, the owner of the house returns to finish what Simone started. They exchange oral fixings until another dude comes into the picture; then Simone juggles both cocks. She takes one cock in her number two hole from underneath while mouthing the other dude. Then both holes get filled and Simone takes it like a champ, consistently requesting a harder pace. Simone flips to doggy while keeping her mouth full. She is then again double penetrated while being lifted before catching both loads in her mouth.

The beginning and the end of Fill er Up were the strong scenes, and scenes three and four were just there to complete the roster. Only 4 loads were fired by The Whackman in a slight disappointment for a film with a gangbang niche.

Posted by Cecil B. DeNasty on Thursday, August 30 10:04 AM | Permalink | Comments

The Whackman has been invited to stop by one of the most exclusive clubs in all of Hollywood ? Legend?s Club Godiva. Will it live up to the hype? Or be just another club that shuts down in the next couple of months?

In the opening scene, Bonita Saint, a cute blonde with small tits, asks her man to do a little dance prior to getting it on. It attempts to be a sensual scene, but is more of a drag. It takes 8 fucking minutes to basically start?and it was just fingering job. After 10 minutes of buildup, Bonita finally sucks dude?s cock while using her feet to jam a dildo in her we pussy. The slut is finally plugged both missionary and doggystyle in a ?foreplay driven? scene.

The short haired average looking Gina Ryder sits on a table to get her twat devoured by her man to start scene 2. Gina returns the favor while dildoing herself. She then rides her man, while her lopsided tits stay outta place. The Whackman was glad she switched to the doggy position because her bad tit job was a distraction. She redeems herself by swallowing all of her man?s goods. Nice recovery slut.

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While her man watches, a sexy Canadian blonde named Envy gets her pussy licked and dildo thrusted by the seductive Amia More to begin the third scene. These two are the best looking broads in the flick. The lucky spectator works himself into the mix by getting a blowjob while the two tramps use a double sided dildo with each other. The minute man fucks Amia, using his 15 seconds of fame before cumming all over her chest.

The cute Inari Vachs is blindfolded before getting sensually eaten out by her man. Inari takes of the blindfold to watch a dildo go in both of her holes. After about 8 minutes of dildo play, they 69?this dude is fucking patient. The Whackman would have tattooed that ass by now. Inari finally gets the dickin at almost 11 minutes in and it?s a ?making love? kind of style versus hardcore wham bam thank you mam. They continue this ?marriage? pace until her twat gets drowned with love juice.

Surrounded by candles, Gina Ryder concludes the last scene with her ex-husband. After getting hurricane tongued (and dildoed in the ass at the same time), Gina gets railed from behind. She then bounces on top of him in the good ol make up sex kind of way and switches to her back to finish her ex off.

Club Godiva was too slow to really enjoy. With the elevator music and dildo activated sex (HELLO? There were dudes ready to fuck), The Whackman was quickly disappointed. It seemed as if the movie was in slow motion and attempted to try to be overbearingly sensual. That shit backfired and will not see The Whackman ever going back to this club after only 4 shots were let loose.

Posted by Cecil B. DeNasty on Wednesday, August 29 06:48 AM | Permalink | Comments

There is a party going on where The Whackman will witness the merciless Skye Blue tormenting the gorgeous Summer Cummings?s overly-ripe tits while torturing her ripe body again and again in Sky N Summer?s Bondage Party.

In the first scene, Summer?s round ass gets the brunt work to open things up. Summer is then untied and forced to kiss Skye from the toe up. Summer is a veteran to pain as The Whackman notices her 4 clit piercings. Skye ties Summer?s legs up and then ties strings through the pierced hoops in Summer?s clit, tugging them. Holy fucking shit The Whackman can?t help but flinch. Skye blindfolds Summer and begins pussy smacking her. Afterwards, she adds more clamps to the stretched out twat and uses what looks like a fucking duster to caress Summer?s cunt. Everything is then removed and Summer is forced to stand while strapping her arms apart?her pussy is tampered with again, this time with a weight to bring the lips down. Skye whips her all over the body and melts some hot candle wax on her huge tatas. Then the down ass bitch gets melted wax across her tongue to end the scene.

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In scene 2, Summer is caged up. Skye whips Summer?s outstretched feet to start things off. Then, Summer uses her toes to play with Skye?s pussy. Summer is freed from the cage and crawls towards her master and again is forced to kiss and lick Skye?s feet for a long goddam time. Summer uses the ?duster? to pleasure Skye?s twat while enduring a whipping in the ass. Summer is then blindfolded and licorice sticks are used to whip her all over the body. Honey is poured all over Summer?s tongue and body and The Whackman is somewhat turned on too the sweetness oozing down Summer?s body. The liquid latex painting ensues as different colors (foods) are used to create this Picasso?finishing with a shrink wrap effect. The Whackman was salivating.

The Whackman is thinking outside the box and appreciating the ?art? displayed in Sky N Summer?s Bondage Party. Because there were only two scenes, only 2 shots were fired in a surprisingly tolerable movie. The Whackman may need to seek psychiatric help because The Whackman was ready to feast on Summer?s powdered body.

Posted by Cecil B. DeNasty on Monday, August 27 12:48 PM | Permalink | Comments