FUCK FLICKS

Okay so you’re a confessed sexoholic, what’s the next step? Well the guys who made this movie sent these lucky dudes and babeliciously horny sexoholic nymphos to ‘get away’ from their addiction…but yeah, we all know what happens when you put a bunch of over-sexed fuckers together in an enclosed space…tons of wet hot energetic sex. (sounds like a fox reality show doesn’t it?)

For a bunch of sexoholics there could’ve been a hell of a lot more action in this movie…sure it’s got five scenes but most of them you’re just gonna be skimming through. It does start off with a hot chick on chick scene and the movie does get a hardness factor from the fact that it has British superslut Hannah Harper in it, and we all know how fucking crazy those Brit chicks get when the juices get flowing.

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My big problem with it is when you title your movie Sexoholics you expect there to be TONS of sex, group scenes, threesomes, foursomes, moresomes and so on…Sexoholics is pretty much all just one on one stuff. This movie gets a generous two cocks-up and that is solely due to the nympho crazy participaction of Hannah Harper.

Posted by Cecil B. DeNasty on Sunday, May 11 11:08 AM | Permalink | Comments

There are a lot of cool things about wearing the color white, especially when it’s a chick out in the sun, and even better if there’s some wetness cos then it becomes SEE-THRU. These ultra horny (and you know they’re ultra horny cos if they weren’t, no amount of money would entice them to fuck these guys with such enthusiasm) MILFs get what they need in three sextastic scenes.

It’s pool patio party-time in these three hardcore scenes. Scene one we get first a dusky latina MILF slut who gets her patio pussy time as she shows her cock-sucking and fucking skills and sucks the splooge from his cock in the bright sunny outdoors. Follow this up with a couple bronzed beauty babes gettin some sapphic sunshine as they go down on each other bringing each other to enthusiastic orgasms over and over. Last scene we get the horniest of these chicks who fucks (or gets fucked) her ass off. The dude is old enough to be her father and looks like his face belongs on a wanted poster but it doesn’t change her enthusiasm as she rides him to orgasm after orgasm.

White Panty Chronicles 20 was better than I expected it to be, mostly because of the rampant raunchy nympho behavior of the chicks in it. Three cocks-up to White Panty Chronicles 20.

Posted by Cecil B. DeNasty on Friday, May 09 08:43 AM | Permalink | Comments

Jam-packed with ten scenes of foot lusting and fucking, Toe Jam 2 gives us an action-packed glimpse into the kinkiness of foot fetish. I’m not sure how these whackjobs can handle having stinky smelly feet shoved in their mouths…but they totally look like they’re enjoying their fantasy, so I guess it works.

You’ve got blondes, brunettes, MILF, young babes, all hot sluts who want their toes sucked and there’s more sole-sucking than in any horror movie I’ve ever seen, and enough sole food to put Little Jamaica to shame. We do get to see some pussy pounding in every scene…getting their toes sucked seems to make these crazy sluts ultra-horny and dripping wet.

After watching all ten scenes of Toe Jam 2 I still don’t get why sucking toes is hot but if it gets chicks as wet as these sluts, serve me up some of that sole food. Toe Jam 2 gets a toeriffic two and a half cocks-up.

Posted by Cecil B. DeNasty on Thursday, May 08 05:06 AM | Permalink | Comments

Much of reviewing porn is like a dream job, but most of watching Chunky Pool Party is a big yawn…with my mouth open a lot bigger than these chicks mouths were. Once again, like in Chunky Cheerleaders none of the B’s in BBW applies to beautiful for any of these chicks. First off this movie lies…it says pool PARTY. We get four scenes of one-on-one action with ugly or plain chicks that for the most part look bored out of their heads, or as though they are waiting for the $50 so they can go score their Hostess cupcakes.

Don’t get me wrong, BBW sluts are fucking hot if one of the B’s stands for Beautiful. Expressions like ‘more cushion for the pushin’ and ‘more bounce to the ounce’ don’t come from nowhere, but Chunky Pool Party falls far short of any of these expectations. The only chick in it who really seems into fucking looks like she also has three grandchildren and hopefully they grow up to be better looking than her.

A while ago I reviewed Chubby Chasers 2, if you like watching curvy cum queens, watch it, enjoy it and one day soon I will have another cumtastic BBW flick reviewed for you to enjoy.

Chunky Pool Party gets a flaccid one cock-up because my mama always told me that you should be nice to fat people or they will eat you.

Posted by Cecil B. DeNasty on Monday, May 05 14:48 PM | Permalink | Comments